Mike and Lisa Kai senior pastor of inspire church Hawaii
waktu preparing pernikahan plan nya lama, duit nya banyak, lalu kemudian kita menikah dan saling berpandangan
phase dalam pernikahan
HONEYMOON PHASE
biasanya usia up to 5 tahun pernikahan. journey nya menyenangkan, can't wait to have kids can't wait to have house together
honeymoon phase, blm punya anak masih berduaan.
WHO ARE YOU? WHO WE ARE TOGETHER?
phase dimana , ada lot of grinding together to work together. conflict. latar belakang yang berbeda. what am i supposed to do ? paradigma yang melatar belakangi : antara bisnis dan ministry / gereja tidak boleh gabung harus salah satu.
THE NEW "NORMAL"
most crucial phase of marriage. learning much about who we are, ada 2 anak, ada 4 anak, pengen tahu apa yang panggilan Tuhan harus kerjakan, banyak hal terjadi dalam phase ini. allow your husband to make mistake. wise woman learn to trust husband, don't become his mother, don't control him. at this stage, he's learning to figure out.
YOU'RE PREGNANT? AGAIN?
THE PROFESSIONAL ADVANCEMENT YEARS
FINDING A RHYTM
guitar - harus punya proper tension. off key a little bit and find the right rhytm, balance. seperti seesaw.
WHO ARE YOU?
get older, get menopause. happy hormones. woman body is changing. woman get more testosteron and less estrogen and man get more estrogen less testoteron.
seringkali minum suplemen tongkat ali. preparing for every season and every transition. stay together until the end.
THE EMPTY NESTERS
find some really good friends. something good for yourself. seringkali ibu asia put ourself last. love taking care of ourself.
THE AFTERGLOW YEARS
ENJOY YOUR LEGACY
Jesus has to be the center of your marriage.
marriage getaway : refill our tank --> creating legacy for children and business / ministry. we are called to be one another.
1 Korintus 2:9 BIMK
[9] Sebaliknya hal itu adalah seperti yang tertulis dalam Alkitab, “Apa yang tidak pernah dilihat atau didengar oleh manusia, dan tidak pernah pula timbul dalam pikiran manusia, itulah yang disediakan Allah untuk orang-orang yang mengasihi-Nya.”
https://bible.com/bible/27/1co.2.9.BIMK
Efesus 5:21-23 BIMK
[21] Untuk menghormati Kristus, hendaklah kalian tunduk satu sama lain. [22] Istri, tunduklah kepada suamimu, seperti kepada Tuhan. [23] Sebab suami adalah kepala atas istrinya, sama seperti Kristus pun menjadi kepala atas jemaat dan Ia sendirilah juga Raja Penyelamat bagi jemaat yang menjadi tubuh-Nya.
https://bible.com/bible/27/eph.5.21-23.BIMK
agape - self sacrifice
we are not perfect but we are being perfected. if you love her, she would be more beautiful than the day you married her.
the church is not perfect, it's being perfected. husband is the captain of the ship.
ship = navigate.
the enemy doesn't want you to have a greater marriage
1 Petrus 5:8 BIMK
[8] Hendaklah kalian waspada dan siap siaga! Sebab Iblis adalah musuhmu. Ia seperti singa berjalan ke sana kemari sambil mengaum mencari mangsanya.
https://bible.com/bible/27/1pe.5.8.BIMK
communicate with one another leave no room for the devil. may you have fairwinds and following seas. throughout no matter what 7 seas (whatever you're going to face)
whatever you go through rough seas, God will be with you
Yesaya 43:2 BIMK
[2] Bila engkau mengarungi air, Aku akan menyertai engkau, engkau tak akan tenggelam dalam kesukaran-kesukaranmu. Bila melalui api, engkau tak akan hangus, percobaan-percobaan berat tak akan mencelakakan engkau.
https://bible.com/bible/27/isa.43.2.BIMK
doldrums : sail but no wind. you have to paddle.
you've get to get creative. weekend getaway.
it happened to all marriage, it happened to all sailor,
if you want to an adventure, you need to sail not dock your ship.
MARRIAGE ON THE ROCK
our marriage is anchor to Jesus
anchor have to secure
Ibrani 6:19 BIMK
[19] Harapan kita itu seperti jangkar yang tertanam sangat dalam dan merupakan pegangan yang kuat dan aman bagi hidup kita. Harapan itu menembus gorden Ruang Mahasuci di Rumah Tuhan di surga.
https://bible.com/bible/27/heb.6.19.BIMK
every ship has got to be maintained. the brush has to be polished. the deck need to be scrubed. your marriage needs to be maintained. checking on her DAILY. communicate DAILY. put your spouse above your kids.
chip away the barnacles on the ship : forgiveness, conflict avoidance, finances.
ship bagian bawah : cargo and ballast stone (balance).
key problem : communications. sometimes miscommunication : one sided. communication is very crucial to your marriage, never avoid any conflicts.
4 enemy of communications
DEFENSIVENESS
causing you to attack or retreat. two way communications. marriage break down : because lack communications, lack of listener. God give marriage not to make you happy, but to make you holy.
INTERRUPTIONS
rushing to speed and jumping into conclusions. dont see your spouse as your enemy.
PRIDE
pride devalues others through exaggerated appreciation of oneself
minta maaf kalau berbuat salah
protect your marriage, be vigilant one what you want to allow into your marriage
what is lasting in the calm seas ?
MARRIAGE = all hands on deck
it's not a cruise ship or battleship. but both. spiritual warfare. praying over each other. praying for children and grand children. praying for future spouse.
must get good at being in both modes.
fairwinds and following seas
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