Mg session 3
Every relationship is communication
Communication is one of the things you cant avoid cant ignore
Some of us are set up for failure
You will sabotage your marriage if you say im not good at communication
Every position in life need communication
How God values communication
Proverbs 18:20-22
Power of tongue
Efesus 4:29-31
Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth
You have to be honest? We have to be honest with who we are. In terms of marriage, emotions can be low or high don't empower your negative thoughts. Not everything you think is from the Lord. Don't let negative communication destroy your marriage.
Rejoice in who you are
God loves every personality style
Celebrate each other also, in differences of who we are
The devil comes to steal kill and destroy john 10:10
I wish you were smarter, i wish you were here, those words make you have to fight against the devil. You might be married to the person that ressembles like that, but you have to fight for your marriage and not listen to the devil's voice.
Galatians 6:34
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
It is we that are working together. Examine yourself today. We are going to start something new today and become something different. What you say and what you do has value to add. Begin to see yourself that your spouse from the eyes of God.
Evil thought, evil words, condemnations, judgements. We feel hurt. We usually become the thing we don't want to be. Like when we grow up in alcoholic family, we don't like that but we turn to be one.
Efesus 4:29
Don't use abusive language so that your words will be encouragement
Goal is to become better when try to communicate with your spouse
1. Limited communication
No news is good news. Human live in this body of flesh, flesh has the sin nature. Left for themselves will assume something wrong. When you don't talk much or share you start acting lazy and that is assume to be uncaring.
Always left people to assume the negative.
We can become very unthoughtful on our tone. Never hide anything with your spouse.
2. Emotional communication
When we are angry, sad, depressed, fear. Emotional communication is motivated by our feeling. Emotion can be a blessing or curse. Don't let emotions run your life.
Emotion ga pernah membuat kita happy sepenuhnya. God just want me to be happy, yes its true but in a Godly way. Say words that will help you and not hurt you. Rule yourself. Sometimes your emotions rule your communications. Acknowledge that you are flesh people. There are gonna be times that depression rules. Its a continuous time that a marriage need to learn and grow
Sitting in a couch, need to discuss something but the words won't come out because the words are either angry, sad, depressed, or fearful. Keep your tone that your tone is doable.
Use softer words, softer tone so you can have a gentle conversation.
Efesus 4
Do not let the sun go down on your wrath.
Be conscious in communicating.
3. Controlling communication
Doesn't build a successful relationship
Louder, dominating, avoiding
Verbal abuse even phsyical abuse.
Reason you want to control is you want to hide something.
Let them change
Believe in them
Think about you change not your spouse change
Determine regular time of your communications
Find the time and find a place where you are both comfortable to talk
Make it a priority
Doesn't have to be a really deep talking
It's not like all serious
Talk regularly so you will be ready to talk in times of challenge
4. Competitive communication
This is not a competition. You're both in one family. You're both trying to win with your spouse. Don't try to win argument.
Find agreement. Matthew 18
Agreement is the place of power. Semua yang disepakati akan disetujui oleh Tuhan.
Many husbands don't realize how important agreements is to have God's blessings.
You are never competing against your spouse. She is we.
Play your part. Play your role. Don't compete against your spouse in front of your kids. Kids are smart they will know, which parent is good for this and good for that.
Kids will receive the spirit of the parents. Teach to love respecting honour. Make sure to communicate to your children the right way of thinking. Just like brush your teeth, never told them to brush, but the right way of thinking with they need to brush their teeth.
Don't let the world teach them
The ingredients is important to have a great dinner. If the eggs is rotten no matter how good cook you are you can't get a good food. So you can taste and see what God has prepared for your life
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